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Post Scripts from the Saturday Evening Post by Col. Stoopnagle

Itches are stuff that when you're standing at attention, your nose always.       [12-11-48] 

A slice of bread is fine for making a sandwich with two of them, and beef.  [1-1-49] 

A pipe cleaner bent into the shape of an O makes a good toothpick.  Simply straighten it out and use.  [1-8-49] 

Water makes a very good sidewalk, when mixed with sand and cement.  [1-22-49] 

If you will pulverize your used electric-light bulbs, they make one of the best things known for not scattering on your driveway.  [2-49] 

A pig cannot write when he has no oink in his pen.  [2-49] 

If it weren't for half the people in the United States, the other half would be all of them.  [4-2-49] 

Rain is what you leave your rubbers home because you think it probably won't.  [4-23-49] 

A clock is something they have in an office, so you can tell how late you wish you weren't in the morning, what time to go out to lunch before and come back after, and how long before you can start stopping work by stalling along until.  [4-16-49] 

"High" is what the Empire State Building is as anything, and what when a guy meets an old friend he yells.  [4-30-49] 

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Page created November 15, 2006.  Copyright 1998-2006 by Richard D. Squires.