|April Fool's Day! by Col. Stoopnagle|
The first of April every year is called April Fools or All Fools Day, which graciously includes both tricksters and trick-ees. The best thing to do, if you don’t aspire to be a practical joker, is to disappear into thin air. (If no thin air is available, use fat air.) There are several good ways of not being available, among which are:
1. Paint yourself with invisible paint and go sit in the basement of a deserted lighthouse.
2. Drop into a nearby manhole and gurgle like running water until April 2nd.
However, if you are a trickster and like to play pranks on your friends, here are some simple, new ways of getting people to hate you:
1. Fill your friend’s cigarette lighter with water.
2. Squirt DDT solution into his guppie bowl.
3. Solder his mailbox shut.
4. Write a passionate love-letter (if your friend is married) to a non-existent person and put your friend’s return address on the envelope.
(From “Colonel Stoopnagle’s Scrapbook,” Pictorial Review, March 10, 1946)
Page created November 14, 2006. Copyright 1998-2006 by Richard D. Squires.